Want to be instantly more likable and persuasive when talking? Use someone’s name in a conversation! Here’s the challenge, you have to actually remember someones name to connect with them. Here are 5 proven tips and tricks for how to remember names.
I have done this too many times where I meet someone, they introduce themselves, pleasantries are exchanged… and their name completely leaves my brain.
If you are anything like me, you convince yourself that you are going to do better next time and you really focus on remembering. But your mind starts to formulate a response to what they are talking about – clearly they are wrong and you have citations handy – and poof! Their name is gone.
It’s frustrating isn’t it? You can remember what they do, where they work, that they have a child, but their name? It’s just at the tip of your tongue. Something that starts with a B? I like to refer to these as “name blocks”.
You are not alone in your frustration with these name blocks. But you can master a technique that will work for you. I have found success with technique number 4, mentioned below.
You will instantly be more likeable and persuasive in what you have to say. Read on to find out some different techniques, when they should be used, and how to practice them.
How common is it to forget someone’s name?
One of the reasons that we may forget someone’s name, is that it alone doesn’t mean anything about them. It’s a label. Their job title, where they work, their passion for model trains tells you something about them. Name alone does not, unless it is a name that you have heard before and means something to you.
Plus we may be distracted. In a loud networking event with music, chatter, and in an unfamiliar place? Your mind may not be totally be focused and ready to retain new information.
You are not alone in this. A job title is easier to remember than someone’s name. Unfortunately, this doesn’t make it less embarrassing when they remember your name, and you can only come up with a “hey…. you!”
I also don’t have great news for you – your name recall gets worse as you get older. It’s time to figure out a memory recall technique that works for you now!
The power of remember names and using them
Names have power. They are the envelope for a whole CV. They also have the power to persuade your listener.
It feels good when someone remembers your name. Name remembrance is seen as a compliment with clients. It also increases their likelihood of compliance with a request.
Why? People who feel flattered because their self serving bias was that you remember their name because there is something unique and special about them. When you persuade someone to see your point of view and use their name, they are more likely to walk down that road with you.
It helps the other person pay more attention as well to what you are saying. For instance, if you are in discussion with someone, and you use their name here and there, it pulls them back in to the conversation. They may have the bad habit of thinking of their response in their head instead of listening, so it gets them to refocus on what you are saying.
Want to know some additional powerful and persuasive words? Use these as well to further increase compliance on your team.
5 memory tricks for how to remember names
1. Repeat within conversation
This is a tried and true technique because it seems to work for many people.
Try to use a name you have just learned naturally within the conversation. It will help you commit it to memory. Don’t overdo it though! It’s a well known technique that they will catch onto if you are not natural about it.
“So Rachel, where are you from”
“Can you tell me more about that Stacey?”
It’s not 100% foolproof, so read on for more memory tricks for how to remember names. This can be used in combination with the other techniques below.
2. Sly recall technique
I fully admit to using this technique before.
If you forget what their name is during an interaction, ask them how to spell their name. Find a reason that you would need to contact them or would need to write it down. Email exchange, writing it down in a sign in sheet, curiosity, whatever seemingly reasonable excuse you can come up with.
You could also ask for a business card and take a quick peek.
Smooth recovery tip: If you ask them how to spell their name, and they look at you funny and ask “you mean Jane?” Laugh it off and say, “hey, I’m not a Starbucks barista, I want to make sure I get it right!”. Don’t worry, you now know their name is Jane.
How is this a memory technique? Well, you put a lot of effort in to getting them to spell their name – you will not forget it now!
3. Visual memorization
Once again, ask the person how to spell their name. The major difference here is that you will ask right after you are introduced.
This is a great technique to beat a name block later if you have a visual memory.
4. Name association
Is their name the same as your brother? Your celebrity crush when you were 13? Associate that new person’s name with a name you have known from your past.
Don’t have a previous name association? See if you can create a visual image associated with their name, a rhyme, place or job association, whatever.
For example, Gale on a sail boat, Sheila with a shield, Brie with a cheese hat. Have fun!
5. Focus on learning
If you know that you are guilty of forgetting names minutes after hearing them, make a point of focusing when they introduce themselves.
Pretend like you have to turn around and introduce them to someone who will be joining your conversation in a few minutes. Challenge yourself to remember their name and it’s a great feeling for the other person when you can thoughtfully introduce them to others.
If worse comes to worse, you can admit if you don’t know their name. Excuse that you couldn’t hear them well near the beginning of the conversation, but their name is important to you.
When it comes to how to remember names, practice the above techniques and find what works best for you. Some scenarios may require different tricks, but the power of remembering names is essential for your leadership toolbox. When you can use names to persuade others, your leadership will get easier. Have fun with your name association.
Leave a comment below with your funniest name associations!