People are going to talk about you. It doesn’t matter how boring you are or how popular you are as a leader. The reality is that people are social creatures and they will socialize with each other. You as their leader, the organization, and fellow coworkers are some of the things that everyone has in common. As a leader, you can control the tone and some of the environment that the gossip is about. Here are tips for how to handle a gossiping employee and how to deal with rumors at work about you as a leader.
Workplace gossip truths as a leader
Let’s face it, you are going to be constantly under the microscope. You have probably been mentored ad nauseam that you need to “develop thick skin” as a leader.
Gossip is not going to magically disappear, and you certainly cannot go down the slippery slope of being a people pleasing manager, hoping that if everyone loves you then they won’t say negative things. Right?
Wrong.
While workplace gossip will never completely disappear, you can mitigate much of this gossip mill with your actions. You can control some of your actions and behavior as a leader to decrease the likelihood of team gossip. The workplace culture is also within your control to make sure that gossip is not an acceptable practice.
What is the impact of a gossiping employee?
Gossip is very toxic for the workplace, and leads to lowered productivity due to a decrease in team trust and increase in turn-over rate. Innovation from the target employee is significantly decreased due to low self-esteem.
Looking to avoid hiring potential gossipers in the first place? Learn specific interview questions to ask to avoid hiring toxic workers in the first place!
Gossip will occur on your team, and it is your responsibility to get a handle on it or the morale and productivity on your team will suffer. Realistically, your confidence as a leader could take a hit if there are negative things being said about you. I know we are supposed to have thick skin as leaders, but that is only possible if gossip is kept to a manageable level.
How to handle a gossiping employee
So what do you do with the person who has not moved past the maturity of their high school years? Handing a gossiping employee can come with several different stages from speaking to the victim right up to disciplinary meetings ultimately leading to termination. No one needs this toxic employee on their team.
1. Encourage employees to not participate
If you become aware of gossip happening in your team, end the drama by encouraging others to not participate. A gossiper gets pretty bored if they do not have an audience.
2. Find some additional work for the gossiper
Find some additional work for the gossiper since they clearly have some time on their hands. If they are busy working, they have less time to talk.
3. Make your expectations to the whole team clear
If you set the stage for your team properly, you can encourage others to not only participate, but to actively discourage.
If you discuss with your team in advance that gossip is negative behavior that does not have a place on this team. It sets a tone for conversations and communication on the team as a whole.
4. Team Charter
A team charter is essentially a list of ways that everyone agrees to engage with each other. It can range from how we greet each other each morning, to asking for help if we need support.
Bullying and gossip absolutely has a place on the team charter, or team agreement. By everyone agreeing that this is not acceptable behavior, it sets a tone for your team that it is not tolerated.
There should be two parts: will not engage in conversation that may not be true, or spread information that may not be true; or engage in negative conversations about another coworker.
5. Have a conservation one-on -one (this is done as a progressive series, if necessary).
Giving feedback to staff is difficult enough, and giving feedback to staff that are not self aware seems impossible. The gossiper may not have any idea of the damage that they are doing. They likely just see it as bonding with other colleagues. If you think that you are dealing with someone who is blissfully unaware of the consequences of their negative behavior, or deny it outright, read here about giving feedback to staff who lack self-awareness.
The first conversation
This one should be more casual in tone. Just say that you overheard some office gossip (not necessary to point them our as the source). Make a comment that it is hurtful behavior and not in-line with being a good team member. If you have made a team charter, make a point of, “we agreed as a group that this wasn’t acceptable”.
This has been successful for me in mitigating small time gossipers.
Subsequent conversations
This is where you have to put your Human Resources hat on and follow the book to the letter. Ask the person to speak with your privately. Let them know that you have heard some damaging or hurtful information and provide a summary of the details. Then pause. Always pause. The squirming while they try to decide to deny or apologize almost makes up for the hurtful comments in the first place.
Be clear about what your expectations are for communication and that their comments are damaging to team morale. Do not accept that it is “your fault because you did X”. They are adults and they need to respond to a challenge in a professional way.
Your expectations for their future behavior need to be clear and consequences if this is not met. This may build up to and include termination. Nothing brings down a team down faster than gossip.
How to deal with rumors at work about you as a leader
While you try to handle a gossiping employee, other employees may not be their only target. Here’s how to deal with rumors at work about you as a leader.
1. Keep your private life private
You need to let some of yourself show so that you can be an authentic leader. A balanced approach needs to be taken with showing authenticity as a leader. People need to know who you and and what you stand for – not to set up your personal life for gossip.
For instance, share that you are thinking of moving, nervous about how your child is doing in 2nd grade. Do not share your relationship issues or finances (success or challenges).
2. Watch your attitude
You need to ensure that you are displaying the right attitude – whether responding positively or negatively. Remember, as a leader, all eyes are on you. Respond appropriately and professionally.
3. Don’t shy away from unpopular decisions – but try to get staff on board first
Although this will set you to need to handle a gossiping employee, part of your job is to make unpopular decisions.
Do yourself a favor and try and get the team on board with a decision before you make it. It will help take an unpopular decision to an understandingly necessary one. There should be some lead up to your decision with transparency.
4. Use persuasive words to get your team to do what you need them to do
Let’s face it- no one wants to work for a dictator. Not only will you demoralize your team, you will become gossip fodder for sure. Instead read about the power of persuasive words as a tool to persuade action as a leader.
Remember, as a leader, you can control the tone and some of the environment that the gossip is about. There is no one way to handle a gossiping employee and how to deal with rumors at work about you as a leader.
Remember, manage gossip with clear expectations and boundaries of professionalism. Although these are not easy conversations to have with your team or with gossiping individuals, they are necessary. Use these steps, and you will be able to handle a gossiping employee like a pro.