As a manager, my favorite employees are the ones that show up on time, follow the policies, and play nice with each other. By that measure, the majority of my employees are my favorites. But it becomes an optics problem when we are seemingly giving preferential treatment to some employees over others. This can cause morale issues, or good employees leaving because they do not feel that they could rise to the gold-star favorite employee. Here are proven strategies on how to stop displaying favoritism in the workplace as a leader.
What is workplace favoritism, really?
This is a common, but little noticed management problem. Why? Well we have our hands full often managing low performing employees, that we may over compensate our appreciation for our hard working employees.
Often times we do not realize that we are doing it, the accusations of displaying favoritism in the workplace often comes from mediocre or low performers. When they see you heap praise or interesting projects on the favored individuals, this causes jealousy and resentment towards you. Likely excusing their lower performance for you playing favorites.
Some of the common accusations are that you may stop by certain employees desk discussing interests, providing open praise more often to the favorite, or giving them the “good projects”.
Not only is there a negative consequence for you as a leader by displaying favoritism in the workplace, the perceived favorite employee may also get a target on their back. They may be alienated by their peers and may be excluded.
The favoritism challenge
It’s not easy to stop displaying favoritism in the workplace. On busy days it is easy to rely on trusted workers on to handle the problems instead of bringing you more work.
Plus it is hard to admit that you play favorites as a leader. I admit that I have favorites, but I am likely unaware of how I display favoritism. I know that a former leader of mine was confronted with an allegation of displaying favoritism in the workplace and outright denied it. She was so sure that she didn’t play favorites. Although I certainly didn’t bring the allegation forward, I agreed with it.
So, how are we as smart leaders, so completely clueless with how our favorites are perceived? According to this article, we are great at picking out the traits that are tough to observe and easy to admit. An example would be nervousness with presentations. You have butterflies in your stomach, but you rock a presentation and it was easy to admit privately later that you were nervous.
It’s hard to admit that you may not be as fair of a leader as you envisioned yourself being. And employee perception of leadership fairness is vital.
We can also lack self-awareness as leaders, when we get caught up in the day to day business. If we took some time to reflect on our work, we will likely find that we have some room for improvement. Read more about performing a SWOT analysis – on your own leadership skills and abilities here.
What are some ways that we display favoritism in the workplace as a leader?
Displays of favoritism are not always as obvious as someone getting the biggest bonus, best projects, or preferred time off.
It may be as subtle as a manager not saying anything to a favored employee that is habitually late. You may also idle at this employee’s desk discussing life outside of work. You may socialize with them more because they had the same alma mater.
The dangers of this behavior is that eyes are always on you as a leader. Things do not always need to be true, but if other employees believe that someone is a favorite you may start to experience a morale issue on your team. If an employee feels that their hard work goes unnoticed, they will do just enough to not get in trouble.
Here’s why you should care if employees think decisions are fair, if you want to read more about the true consequences of the perception of employee fairness.
How to stop displaying favoritism in the workplace
Equality/Consistency
If you would call out someone else for not following the dress code, being late, or being late on a deadline, it needs to be consistent to all employees.
I have asked myself on occasion when I thought I may be harsher with one employee than the other
Displays of gratitude
Appreciate everyone for their efforts. You already know that not everyone has the capacity for the same level of work. But in that employee’s mind, they are working hard.
Development of all employees
Yes, it may be temping to focus on rewarding the top performers when you as a leader feel like you do not have enough time in the day to accomplish everything.
But this is short sighted. You also need to develop the people who are junior and developing the competencies that you need as well as the more tenured employees who produce decent work, but could use a bit more of a push to produce excellent work.
All employees should be developed as though they are going to be top performers. And hoarding all of the opportunities to the top is not the way to get there.
Performance is clearly linked to bonuses or incentives
Make it known that bonuses are tied to performance and make the criteria transparent. Most people think that if they work hard, they are doing a good job and should get a great bonus. Not so, they may be working very hard in the wrong direction.
How an employee is performing should not come as a surprise to them when the bonuses are being handed out. Throughout the year and at performance review time you should set very clear targets with the employee and what a great performance would look like.
To find out how to structure performance reviews so that you can make goals clear, read about performance review phrases or about feedback on self-assessment comments.
If this is a hard person to give feedback to because they do not seem to understand that they are not a top-performer but feel that they need to be treated as such, read more here about how to give feedback to someone who lacks self awareness.
Keep track of which work is going to which employee
The staff are going to remember better than you are who got what, for how long, and any perceived rewards associated with a project. Did someone work on the last great project? Stop before you automatically assign the next project to that person or it may seem like you are displaying favoritism in the workplace.
It’s not just about being inclusive, it’s also a strategy of developing others so that you do not put all of your eggs in one basket. What if this employee leaves? You’re going to be stuck with a team that only knows how to play a supporting role.
If you have the chance, add some minor roles or side pieces to the project that another employee can work on. That way they are part of the team and do not feel left out.
Work on your emotional intelligence.
Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize and monitor both your own and another individual’s emotions, differentiate between them, and respond appropriately.
Self awareness is a significant component of emotional intelligence. Being aware of your own actions and how they are perceived by others gives you clues on if you may be inadvertently playing favorites.
Do you see some eye rolls in a meeting when you assign tasks? Do you hear grumbles in a meeting when you praise the efforts or positive outcome of an individual? Tread carefully, you may be displaying favoritism in the workplace.
Participation ribbons are not just for elementary school anymore.
Everyone wants to feel valued, and it is up to you as their leader to pull out their individual merits and comment on them. Your approval towards them as a worker should not only be reserved for performance review time. They should always know where they stand with you.
Figure out if the individual likes public or private accolades. Note what they did to contribute positively to a team or an individual project.
Can’t think of any? It’s time to performance manage the individual until they meet your standards or go elsewhere.
Get to know everyone
This way you can also socialize at others desk on how their hobbies are going, how their family is doing, how a renovation is going, etc… This way you can develop a bond with them, help your rapport, and hopefully learn something new.
This will help improve optics of lingering at your favorite’s desk to discuss mutual interests. Make sure it is genuine though, you do not want to come off as a fake leader.
The reality is, you are not going to be perfect at all times with being equal. Some individuals are naturally more likable, have better attitudes, and excel at their work. Your job as a leader is to try and be as aware of your fairness as possible so that you can minimize the employee dissatisfaction with your displaying favoritism in the workplace.